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My 2020 Reading List

Here is my list of the books I read in 2020 that I think would benefit you if you read them.

I changed it up at the end of the year and read/began reading a couple of fiction series. I did this because 1) I was actually pretty emotionally and mentally exhausted by the end of October and I just wanted something fun to read and 2) I had never completely read the Chronicles of Narnia or the Harry Potter series and my wife loves both of them dearly. (To all my over-saved friends, Yes, I am reading Harry Potter, Yes, they are incredibly good and No, I am not afraid that the Devil is corrupting my mind.)

That said, here’s the list:

“The Spirit of Disciplines” by Dallas Willard

“George Muller: The Guardian of Bristol’s Orphans” by Janet & Geoff Benge

“The People of the Lie: The Hope of Healing Human Evil” by M. Scott Peck

“Jesus: A Theography” by Leonard Sweet & Frank Viola

“City of Prayer: Transforming Your Community Through Praying Churches” by Trey Kent & Kie Bowman

“Surrender to Love: Discovering the Heart of Christian Spirituality” by David G. Brenner

“The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery” by David G. Brenner

“St. Francis of Assisi: His Life, Teachings, and Practice” by Jon M. Sweeney

“Desiring God’s Will: Aligning Our Hearts With The Heart of God” by David G. Brenner

“Punk Monk” by Andy Freeman

“If the Church Were Christian: Rediscovering the Views of Jesus” by Philip Gulley

“The Way of the Heart” by Henri Nouwen

“The Bible Tells Me So: Why Defending the Scripture Has Made Us Unable to Read It.” By Pete Enns

“Restoring the Woven Cord” by Michael Milton

“Emergence Christianity: What it is, Where it’s going and Why it Matters” by Phyllis Tickle

“A Quaker Book of Wisdom” by Robert Lawrence Smith

“Following the Celtic Way” by Ian Bradley

“Farewell to Mars” by Brian Zahnd

“A Generous Orthodoxy” by Brian McClaren

“The Universal Christ” by Richard Rohr

“Everything Belongs” by Richard Rohr

“The Naked Now” by Richard Rohr

“Surprised by Hope” by N.T. Wright

“A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life” by William Law

“Jesus and the Disinherited” by Howard Thurman

“Sober Intoxication of the Spirit” by Raniero Cantalamessa

“The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis

  • “The Magicians Nephew”
  • “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe”
  • “The Horse and His Boy”
  • “Prince Caspian”
  • “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”
  • “The Silver Chair”
  • “The Last Battle”

“The Simple Faith of Mr. Rogers” by Amy Hollingsworth

“The Furious Longing of God” by Brennan Manning

“The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning

“Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” by J.K. Rowling

“Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by J.K. Rowling

“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” by J.K. Rowling

There it is for anyone who cares. You can also check out the running list of books I keep of past years reading or you can find me on Goodreads which is a new to me social network all about books that my wife is obsessed with.

Prayer of Yeilding

“I am no longer my own, but thine.

Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.

Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee,

exalted for thee or brought low for thee.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.”

“Wesley Covenant Service”, John Wesley, Founder of the Methodist Church

Also, did you know that Martha’s Vinyard is the site of the first Methodist Summer Campground in the United States?

Honesty and Truth are Not Always Equal

I have always respected an honest opinion. I like dealing with people who will share their feelings even if those feelings might be unpopular, make the person sharing them unpopular or not make the people they are sharing them with feel good.

But just because someone is honest, it does not make them right.

An honest opinion can still be honestly wrong, or at least based on incomplete or misinformation.

The Enemy is the Enemy

“People are not the enemy. The enemy is the enemy.”

My father-in-law says that a lot. And it’s true. 
People are not the enemy, but people can be stupid. 
And hurtful. 
And mean. 
And angry. 
And insecure. 
And hurting. 
And sad. 
And bitter. 
And broken. 
And hopeless. 
And sometimes, so am I. 
We must learn to forgive. 
We must learn to give the people the benefit of the doubt.

“We are all in the same boat in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty.” — GK Chesterton

Come to Me

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28–29

It’s an invitation.

It’s an invitation to a new way of living.

It’s an invitation to peace.

And all it takes if for me to let down my guard, drop all pretense and show. I have to become honest and authentic with where I am. I need to completely open up about my pain, frustration, worry, doubt, and fear.

I have to come to Him.

Terms of Service

This is a term we are all familiar with. (Unless you live in a cave somewhere.)

These are the rules that we have to agree to so we can use specific devices or software like our phones or social media. Every once in a while, it seems more often than not, these rules are updated, and we have to agree with them.

The updated terms never benefit us, the consumer. They are usually the result of some loophole that was found by the company, and they want to protect themselves. We hardly ever read them, and have no idea what we agree to. (The companies count on that, we could be signing the rights of our organs away for all we know.)

I had a funny thought about this the other day. The Bible is God’s “terms of service.”

It is God telling us, this is who I am, this is what I do, and this is what you need to do to connect with Me. (He does more for us than we do for Him BTW)

But His terms never change. He never updates them to change what He is willing to do or who He is willing to love. They just are. Always. Never changing. Perfect.

And they are there for our benefit, not His. The Bible is not an exhaustive list of what God is willing to do or be until He changes His mind and then changes the terms.

He is always the same. His word never changes. He never changes.

It’s Time to Leave

It’s time to shake off that old thing that’s been holding on for so long that you feel as if it has become part of your body.

Maybe it’s a failure, a heartbreak, or something you wish you had said but didn’t or never had the chance.

Whatever it is, whatever has anchored you to your past, leaving you unable to move forward into freedom or destiny, maybe it’s time to leave it.

Maybe it’s time to let it go.

Remember, “You don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there.”

Everything You Need

Has God put something in your heart to do? Then do it! Why are you waiting to start?

“Don’t think you have to put on a fund-raising campaign before you start. You don’t need a lot of equipment. You are the equipment… Travel light.”
 Matt. 10:9–10 (MSG)

Invest in People

Find one or two people that you know could use a friend and give them your time, your love, and most importantly your sincerity.

Be Yourself

Be yourself. Quit comparing yourself to others. Just STOP. You are UNIQUE. You are RARE. You are SPECIAL. THERE IS, NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE ANYONE LIKE YOU. God has a plan and a purpose for you. And His plan for this world has a job that NO ONE can do except YOU!

Quit focusing on what others ARE doing and what you’re NOT doing. Start focusing on what God IS doing.

Relax. Take it easy. Slow down. Wait.

Wait.

If you’ve been struggling with comparing yourself to others, or trusting that God has a plan for you, why don’t you pray this simple prayer right now:

Father, I love you. I only want what you want for me. Guide my every step down the path You have for me. Pour Your peace over me as I learn to trust in you completely. Amen.

A Dangerous Prayer

“Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to you, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly yours, utterly dedicated to you; and then use us, we pray, as you will, and always to your glory and welfare of your people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.”

A very dangerous prayer from ‘The Book of Common Prayer.’ Be careful not to take it to heart, unless you’re ready for the consequences. A life exactly like you’ve just prayed.

You Can and Should Buy Influence

In this world, anyone can have power and influence if they’re willing to spend enough money.

Here’s a statement that may shock you. I believe that you can buy someone into the Kingdom of God.

Ok, I don’t actually think you can pay someone’s way into Heaven or into a relationship with Jesus Christ. I do believe you can buy your way into a person’s life to influence them and point them to Christ. And all it will cost you is a little time and money.

Here’s what you do:

1) Pick one day a week that you’re going to CONSISTENTLY pursue this venture. Remember, ministry to others is a marathon, not a sprint. Like anything of great value, influence takes time to build. So you’re going to have to commit.

2) Pick a restaurant. Someplace you like to eat, but it must be a place where you get waited on at your table. No fast food.

3) Pray. Before you go for the first time, pray that the Lord leads you to the person He wants you to meet. Once you’ve prayed, go to the restaurant, be seated and KNOW that the person waiting on you has been put in your life by God. This is your mission. This is a moment of destiny.

4) Be nice and keep quiet about God. Don’t talk about church, God, or Jesus. Don’t even ask to pray for them. In fact, don’t even pray for your food when it comes. The goal is about actions, not words. The only thing you should do is walk in grace and be nice. NO MATTER HOW THE SERVICE IS. They may not be a great waiter or waitress, but God loves them as much as He loves you. So treat them that way.

5) When the bill comes, tip NO LESS than 50%. I told you this was going to cost you something. The cost doesn’t matter, the mission matters. You’re buying the right to point this person to God. How much is a soul worth to you anyway? (if you can name a price it’s too low.)

6) Do the same thing every week. On the same day, go to the same restaurant and ask for the same server. Be as friendly and be generous.

7) Watch what happens.

Here’s a little glimpse into what could happen from personal experience.

By the 5th or 6th visit, you know a little about the person waiting on you. You know if they go to school or if they’re in a relationship. You may know something about where or how they grew up. The point is your getting to know THEM. And they’re getting to know you. And the three major things they know about you are you’re kind, you’re generous, and they love it when you show up.

Now you’re in a position to speak into their life. You can ask to pray for them. You can invite them to church or share the gospel with them. Why? Because you’ve invested in them. You’ve spent your time and money on them. You’re not carpet bombing them with the Gospel, shoving it down their throat. You’re being the Gospel. You’ve become the Good News to them. And If it’s not good news when we show up in someone’s life, how in the world are we going to convince people that it’s Good News when He shows up in their life?

I know that this might sound manipulative. But I don’t think it is. Manipulation is selfish. Manipulation is getting what you want even if it hurts others. What we are talking about is the opposite of that. You are sacrificing your time and money for a perfect stranger. Your only motivation is for them to know how much God loves them, and you’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal.

That’s not manipulation. That’s ministry.

Fact vs Opinion

“If you have facts, present them and we’ll use them. But if you have opinions, we’re gonna use mine.”
 — Jim Barksdale, CEO Netscape

I love this quote and the clarity that this mindset brings. So many times we believe in something so passionately that we begin to consider it “fact” or “truth” when it is not. What’s worse is when we base decisions on what other people have presented as “facts” but are not.

Clarifying statements like this are necessary for wise decision making.

Be careful what you pray for… Seriously

I began this year asking God to teach me about humility. That may have been a mistake.

God is more into transformation than He is into information. And for some reason I expected Him to give me some deep revelation from His Word that I could study. I didn’t expect Him to enroll me in the school of humility where each lesson doesn’t enter your mind but gets engraved in your heart.

One thing I am discovering about this process of God working on my heart is that this kind of work tends to be the most uncomfortable when He is working on the areas of the Heart that may be a little tough*.

* I use the word “tough” because it makes me feel better than admitting my heart may be harder in this area than I first thought. I’m sure that will be a future lesson I will learn.

A Common Question

Why do bad things happen to “good” (“Godly”) people?

The answer?

They don’t. Bad things happen to everybody, “good” or “bad.”

“…rain falls on the just and unjust alike.” (Matt. 5:45)

A better question might be, How should “good” (“Godly”) people respond when bad things happen?

Unresolved Issues

I was shocked by a conversation I overheard between two women. They were talking about a divorce one of them was in the middle of. It was a messy, painful divorce between two people who had been married for over 25 years. (I’m not sure how long exactly, but she kept using the term “25 plus year marriage.”)

The part of this conversation that got my attention was when the women going through the divorce said, “We’ve been arguing about this since we were dating. We just can’t take it anymore.”

WHAT!?! REALLY?!? The reason behind this divorce was an issue that went unresolved for over 25 years! Since before they were married!?! It’s almost hard for me to believe.

This couple, who I’m sure at one point were madly in love, let something negative in their relationship fester for over 25 years, and it eventually ripped their marriage apart.

I’ve been thinking about this conversation and here are a few thoughts that I had…

1) Marriage is NOT the answer.

If you’re single, dating or maybe engaged and planning a wedding, please listen to me. If there is a problem in your relationship, an issue that just won’t get resolved, GETTING MARRIED WON’T MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY. Before going one step further in your plans or your relationship, you need to have the hard conversation. Put everything on the table and work it out. And if you can’t work it out on your own or you can’t find another Godly person to walk and pray you through it. DON’T GET MARRIED! Period.

2) If you’re already married, QUITTING IS NOT THE ANSWER.

I believe marriage is a covenant. A covenant not just between a husband and wife, but between a husband, a wife, and the Lord. Your willpower to stay and fight, backed by God’s divine power, CAN and WILL restore ANYTHING. Get that thing you’re dealing with out in the open. Expose it to the Light. Get people around you who will pray for you and counsel you. FIGHT.

3) YOU CAN’T IGNORE THE PROBLEM! Anything left to itself will fester and DIE.

If I had 100 million dollars and used it to build the most magnificent house anyone had ever seen, but then, when construction was over, I locked the doors and never did a thing with it, eventually that house would rot and fall.

True of a house, true of a marriage.

We can’t allow negative issues to go unresolved in our marriages. God is the redeemer. Not just of our lives, but of everything, including your marriage. A problem ignored will not go away, it will grow, and, over time, it WILL hurt you and possibly destroy you.

These were just a few of the thoughts I had while thinking about this conversation. I’m sad for that couple. I’m praying for them. I hope that God works a miracle in that marriage, and in yours.

Choose to Forgive

I’m amazed at how many people I meet that are missing great opportunities because they can’t bring themselves to let old things go.
 People that are holding on so tightly to an offense that they don’t have a hand free to grab on to something good that might be coming there way.

Unforgiveness is a prison. It traps you at the moment in time when the offense occurred. I know you know people like this. They talk about hurts they experienced five, ten, twenty years ago like it happened yesterday.

Some people are lucky; when they hold on to unforgiveness, it only affects one area of their life. For other people, unforgiveness takes over.

They become bitter, hurting, mean, and unhappy. They don’t know how it happened. They use to be normal. They use to be happy. They use to be unafraid. They use to not feel so alone.

The offense was real. The pain you felt was real. The pain you might feel right now is real. But the odds are, the only one who is hurt by it now is you.

To hold onto an offense, to not forgive, to live any part of your life in the past only hurts you.

You may be spending so much time looking at the past, that you’re missing a great future.

Don’t let what happened to you in the past affect what could happen to you today.

Your spouse may have cheated and left, that doesn’t mean your next one will. Your parents may have hurt you, we all make mistakes, we all say things we shouldn’t. Your kids may not be speaking to you, call them again. Your old business partner may have stolen from you. Start a new business.

Every day that you wake up is a new day, full of new possibilities and great opportunities.

Don’t hinder yourself.

Choose to let go. Choose to forgive.

Repentance

“Will not He that raised Lazarus, already four days dead and fetid, far more easily raise you? He who poured out his precious blood for us will free us from sin. Let us not despair, brethren; nor give ourselves up for lost. For it is a grievous thing not to believe in the hope of repentance.”

-Cyril, Archbishop of Jerusalem (AD 315–386)

I’ve been thinking a lot about repentance.

Repentance is such a powerful thing. Making a decision, turning your back on the sins of the world and realigning yourself with God.

To me, the picture of repentance is a picture of me in an alley surrounded on both sides. In front the world, and all it offers. Behind God, and all the peace, joy and love He gives.

I can’t have it both ways. A decision has to be made and I’m the only one who can make it.

My natural instinct is to head for the world. That’s what I was born into. That’s what I know. That’s where my nature is calling me. But I choose to REPENT. I turn my back on the world and head straight into the arms of Christ, “The hope of salvation.”

Can I be honest with you? In my life, this is almost a daily decision. Every day I’m presented with an opportunity to follow the world. And some days I do, others I don’t. Thank God for grace. Thank God for the power of repentance. And thank God that I’m not alone.

Even the apostle Paul had this problem:

Romans 7:19–25

“19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. 21 I have discovered this principle of life — that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.”

Paul knew his nature. He was honest with himself, and that drove him to live a life of repentance.

If it’s good enough for Paul, it’s good enough for me.

The daily choice to repent.

This Is Not The Real World. This Is A Fantasy.

Photo by Ben Weber on Unsplash

Social Media is not the real world. It is a fantasy.

A fantasy built on the pieces of our lives we believe others think are the best parts of us. (Or what we want them to think are the best parts of us*.)

These platforms were created by corporations that spend millions of dollars to manipulate and program our thinking. Companies that then make billions of dollars off of our insecurities and addictions, most of which they created and feed. (I wish this was just my opinion, but it’s not. Look it up.**)

Social media is fun. There are some good things about it. But don’t be deceived into believing these platforms are here for our benefit. We are not the beneficiaries; we are the product. They are selling us and our information to other big companies which again want nothing more than to use and manipulate us.

Our ignorance is their advantage.

* The truth is, the best parts of us are the parts we usually never show on social media. The real you is better than any fantasy.

** I know that this may make me look like a conspiracy theory, paranoid nut, but I’m just a Father/Husband/Human who sees way more negative things happening then positive coming from these platforms. (Did you know that depression and suicide rates among elementary age children are higher than ever and it has been directly connected to the way their brains have become wired for “likes”?)

Be Generous

True story, a man walked into a Starbucks in Tulsa Oklahoma, ordered his coffee, and then paid for his and the strangers coffee behind him. This one act started a chain reaction of generosity that concluded with 185 people buying coffee for the stranger behind them.

For one afternoon in a Starbucks in Tulsa Oklahoma, the reality of 185 people changed. 185 people began considering the stranger standing behind them before they considered themselves.
 One stranger, with one cup of coffee, changed the world for 185 people, for one afternoon.

Be generous. Not just to the people you know, but to everyone you come in contact with. You never know what you may start.

Respond Don’t React

The difference between the two is time. It’s the ten seconds you take before responding to criticism. It’s stopping to think before you speak. Because sometimes our quickest reactions are the ones we regret the longest.

*This is very rarely easy… at least not for me.

Stray Words

I’m not sure we understand the power of our words. One negative, hurtful word, said out of hand or without thought, is like a seed that gets stuck deep into a person’s soul. You might think that what I’m saying is extreme but think with me a minute. Go back to the earliest memory you have of someone saying something hurtful to you, and tell me how it STILL feels.

OUR WORDS ARE POWERFUL.

We get angry and strikeout. An off-handed comment, a verbal jab said without thinking. And that word sinks in. It begins to grow. It feeds on self-esteem, and its fruit is insecurity. Over time the person’s spirit grows weak, brittle, then broken.

Most of the time the only thing left is BITTERNESS.

Now a person who was once full of joy is nothing. Destroyed by a stray thought, a word spoken out of a flash of emotion.

A PERSON IS DESTROYED BECAUSE WE DON’T UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF OUR WORDS.

But all is not lost. If this is what we can do with a thoughtless word spoken, imagine what we could do if we learn to speak words that BUILD. Those kinds of words bring LIFE.

Simple Advice Before You Post Online

Think of your favorite social media platform as a place you go in real life. Maybe it’s a coffee shop, church, a park. Somewhere you go to spend time with people face to face.

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

Now, before you post anything online think about this, if you were at that favorite spot, surrounded by people, some you know and some who are strangers, would you say out loud what you were about to post online?

If what you were about to publish was about someone else, if they were in the same place, within earshot, would you say what you were about to post? (Would you say it to there face?)

If the answer is no, you probably shouldn’t post whatever it is you are thinking about posting.

Sidebar: Posting a selfie is like being in that favorite place surrounded my people and yelling out at the top of your lungs, “Hey everybody, look at me!!! Look what I’m doing! Aren’t I amazing!” (No one wants to be that guy.)

Are You Communicating Value?

When dealing with people, everything you do communicates the value you have for them.

Do you keep your word? Are you on time? Are you early? Do you string them along with promises or commitments that are not in your authority to give?

Your actions always speak louder than your words.

Try This Today

Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.

Smart Versus Wise

Being SMART does not mean you’re WISE. We can go through life learning all sorts of facts. We can learn all kinds of lessons. We can gather all manner of experiences. But that does not make us WISE, that just makes us SMART.

WISDOM comes when we take all that knowledge that we have accumulated, all those lessons we have learned and APPLY it to our lives.

Learning makes you SMART. Applying what you have learned to your life makes you WISE.

I’m Not Perfect

Here’s a newsflash, I’m not perfect. I’m far from it.

I make more mistakes in a day then most people make in a week. I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth so many times, I can tell you the brand of shoe you’re wearing by the taste.

Because I’m not perfect, there’s a lot of things I’m not good at. In fact, there are more things I’m NOT good at then there are of things I am good at. There are things that I see other people do that I would love to be able to do. But I can’t.

BUT…

There are some things that I AM good at! There are some things that I can do better than anyone else around me.

It’s not bragging saying this. It’s the truth. There are abilities and gifts that God put inside me that He didn’t put inside anyone else. Things that only I was created for.

It’s the same with you!

You have gifts that NO ONE ELSE HAS! You have a purpose and a destiny written by God that’s unique to you.

So why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others? Not just comparing, but selling ourselves short? Why do we (I) always think what others can do, or what gifts or callings they have, are more important than mine?

STOP IT!

THE ONLY THING YOU ACCOMPLISH BY FOCUSING ON THE GIFTS OF OTHERS IS THE NEGLECT OF YOUR OWN.

GOD NEEDS YOUR GIFTS ON THIS EARTH! They’re part of HIS master plan. You’re not here to fill space; you’re here to fulfill a purpose.

God needs your gifts developed, matured and ready.

Focus on YOUR gifts, stop focusing on theirs.

Besides, those people with all those gifts you’re focusing on and wanting might be doing the same thing with yours.

Taking Responsibility

You may not have packed the bags you are carrying around through life, but at some point, you have to take responsibility and understand that you are the only one who can begin the process of letting them go.

Stay Alert

There are opportunities around every corner to make a difference in the lives of the people and the world around you.

The reason most people don’t take advantage of these opportunities is that they don’t recognize them, and if they do, they aren’t ready for them.

Stay alert. Be ready.

Keep Your Word

Do what you say you’re going to do no matter the cost, even if the only person it costs is you.

On Pastoring People

You can only pastor a person to the degree they will allow.

No matter what you say. No matter what you do. No matter how much energy you spend. The person you are trying to help is the only one who can decide to listen and act.

But you can never give up.

Look Around

Look for one opportunity to improve the day of someone else. Buy someone a cup of coffee. Compliment a stranger. Ask someone how they are doing and listen to their response.

Think about the one thing that someone could do for you that would make your day, and then do that for someone else.

What kind of impact would that make if you did that EVERY SINGLE DAY? What kind of impact would it make it EVERY SINGLE PERSON did that EVERY SINGLE DAY?

The world really can be a better place; we just need to be willing to put in the time.

Peace

PEACE should be the umpire for every decision in your life. You need to learn to listen to and trust PEACE. PEACE is life’s greatest commodity. PEACE is the language of the Holy Spirit.

On Borrowing Influence

Find those people around you with more influence than you have and take your passion to them. You might hear the word “no” one hundred times, but all you need is one yes.

“I Am Willing”

Mark 1:40–42

“40 A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. “If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,” he said. 41 Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” 42 Instantly the leprosy disappeared, and the man was healed.”

I’ve always loved this story in Mark. It’s only three short verses, and you could quickly skim over it without even thinking. But when you remember that stories like this are more than just stories, that they are true, and they happened to real people just like you and me, then you start to discover how full three little verses can be.

Here are some thoughts, questions, and notes I had while reading through this during morning worship.

“A man with leprosy…”

Who was this man? He was a leper; he was unclean, he was an outcast. That’s all we know about him. We don’t know his name, how old he was or if he had a family. All we know about him was his label. Nothing else about him mattered.

“…came and knelt before Jesus.”

Because of his disease, according to the law at the time, he should not have even been in that crowd. He was unclean and would have defiled everyone that came into contact with him. Why did he do it? He could have been killed! Was this man that desperate? Or was this more an act of boldness and faith then desperation?

“If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,”

This man knew Jesus could heal him. He knew Jesus could restore him to the life he once had. Nothing in this man doubted Jesus’ power. He doubted Jesus’ willingness. Was this man so used to people avoiding him, so used to people looking at him with disgust, that that’s all he expected from Jesus? When he said, “If you are willing” was he saying, “Am I worth it?”

“Moved with compassion (anger)…”

I like that in some translations of this story the word anger is substituted for compassion. “Jesus was moved with anger.” He wasn’t angry at the leper. He was angry for him. The people around this man might have only seen a leper, Jesus saw more. Jesus always sees more. Jesus saw how much pain this man was in. He understood what this man had lost because of his disease. Jesus felt the sorrow of a man that had lost everything. He felt the pain this man felt when he was cast out. He felt the shame this man felt when he had to beg to survive. Jesus understood how worthless society saw this man. Jesus understood how worthless this man saw himself. Jesus was angry for this man. Jesus was hurting for this man.

“Jesus reached out and touched him…”

I wonder how long it had been since another person had touched this man? Who was the last person he touched before realizing he had leprosy? Was it his wife’s hand? Was it a kiss from his daughter or a hug from his son? I imagine that was one of the greatest things this man longed for. Just to be touched again. Why do I think that? Because of how Jesus responded to him. Jesus could have healed him with a word, a gesture or a command. Instead, Jesus reached out and touched him. Why did Jesus touch him? Jesus knew the law. He knew what would happen if he touched something unclean. He would be defiling himself! But that didn’t matter to Jesus. Jesus’ priority was, and still is making the unclean Holy.

“Instantly the leprosy disappeared, and the man was healed.”

The man was healed. But not just healed, he was free. Can you imagine what he felt? All that he knew, all the pain, sorrow, longing for what once was…gone. All replaced with hope. He was no longer unclean. No longer someone to be avoided. He had a new life. He had been restored. The pain no longer mattered. The disease no longer made the rules.

Now imagine the crowd. Silent. Shocked. All staring at this man. This man with brand new skin like a baby. Maybe this was the first time these people saw him as a man. Before he was the leper that they avoided at all cost, and now he was the man that Jesus healed. That’s not something you forget. Do you think this man spent the rest of his life known as the man that Jesus healed? Did one touch from Christ, change his whole identity? It usually does.

Put in the context of my life, I’m not sure how I would respond at that moment. Standing before Jesus, staring at my new hands. What would I have done? Would I run home to my wife and kids? Would I hold them, hug them, never want to let them go? Would I just stand there? In awe of what just happened to me? Would I laugh? Would I leap? Would I cry? What would I do? How would I respond?

How would you respond?

And while you think about that, think about this: There’s is no need, no disease, no sickness, no failure, no mistake, no sin, no choice from your past, that would keep you from receiving the same answer that this leper received from Christ:

“I AM WILLING.”

On Change

I hate CHANGE.

I am one of those people that order the same thing every time I go to a restaurant; I never try anything new.

There’s nothing wrong with not liking change. There is, however, something unhealthy about RUNNING FROM CHANGE.

“CHANGE is the only constant in maturity.”

If you always fight change, you will never grow. If you want to mature, if you’re going to grow, you have to be willing to CHANGE.

One thing I am sure about is I don’t know everything. (My wife would confirm this if you like) Because I don’t know everything, I tend to ask a lot of questions, “Why would you say that?”, “Why would you do this?”, “Why do you believe that?”.

The one answer that makes me cringe every time I hear it is, “because we’ve always done it like that” or “because it’s always been that way.”

Right now people are reading this that need to make some changes. Some serious, some not so serious. (yet)

There are businessmen and women whose companies would grow if they would make changes in their staff, “But they’ve been here forever!” It doesn’t matter. CHANGE.

There are husbands whose marriages are slipping away because they won’t grow up, “She knew I was this way when she married me”. So what, CHANGE!

There are some teens that are reading this, and you know that if you don’t change the decisions you are making, they are going to wreck you. Don’t wait. CHANGE!

There are parents who are about to lose your relationship with your kids because you can’t admit you might be wrong. CHANGE!

Don’t let pride or comfort get in the way of your growth. We were created to go to the next level. The next level in our RELATIONSHIPS, in our WORK, in our SCHOOL, and in our FAMILIES.

DON’T BE AFRAID OF CHANGE!

Is It Your Problem or God’s Problem?

When I work at home on my laptop, because the house that we live in doesn’t have an extra room for an office, I usually just sit at my kitchen table.

The only problem with working at my kitchen table is the Sun.

We have two big windows in our kitchen, and because of the placement of the room, these two windows are in direct sunlight all day. Sun up to Sundown.

This is a great problem to have. I love natural light in the house. But it also means that while I’m working, I’m either dealing with Sunlight beaming through the spaces between the blinds when they are closed (that seem to always shine like a laser into my eyeballs) or the sunlight glaring off my computer screen.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Why don’t you work somewhere else?” I could. “Why not cover the windows better?” That might work. “You could re-arrange your dining room so the sun doesn’t hit your table.” That’s a good idea. “You could wear sunglasses.” Wearing sunglasses inside is stupid.

These are almost all great ideas. But here’s the point I’m making that you probably don’t even see coming.

The greatest advice in the world is useless if I don’t choose to act on it, and there is nothing you can do about it.

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? Watching someone you know make the same mistake over and over again, getting the same result every time? And no matter what you do or say, they don’t listen to you? It begins to feel like your beating your head against a brick wall.

I’ve been there, and if you’re in any leadership position, you’ve been there too.

The problem with beating your head against a wall is eventually your going to hurt yourself, possibly permanently.

How could you hurt yourself permanently? Because if your not careful, your FRUSTRATION could turn into INDIFFERENCE and then you might stop caring. As leaders and as Christians, that can’t happen. We can’t stop caring. We can’t give up on people. We don’t throw people away.

BUT, we can protect ourselves. Here’s how: KNOW WHAT YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES ARE.

Here are two of the most significant lessons I’ve learned as a Pastor:

1) My authority over and my access to a person’s life only goes as far as that person allows.

“But, they are in your church! They should submit to your authority!” Yeah, maybe. But they also have a free will. And most of the time they’re adults, and I’m not their Dad or their boss. I’m their Pastor. It’s up to them to allow me to be their Pastor.

2) It’s not my job to change people. That’s God’s job. My job is to point THEM to HIM.

People may not listen to me. People may even go so far as to ignore or avoid me. But no matter what they do, they can’t stop me from loving them and praying for them. That IS up to me. And it’s a choice I HAVE to make, sometimes on a daily basis. I have to make the decision that I WON’T give up on a person.

When I had those two revelations of leadership, it did something AMAZING in my life. It took the burden I was carrying and put it back in God’s hands where it belonged. And because I know that there’s only so much I can do and that at some point it’s entirely in God’s hands, I can have peace.

And trust me, trying to lead without peace is a road that leads straight to burnout and failure.

So right now, right where you are, take the next 2 minutes and ask God to show you what walls your beating your head against. (You probably don’t need the 2 minutes. You already know.)

Now ask God these two questions:

1) Is there anything else in the natural I can do or say to help breakthrough in this situation? (other than unconditional love and unstoppable prayer)

2) Give me the strength to COMPLETELY hand this over to You, and the peace to know YOU’RE the one in control.

Now, let God handle it.

One of the best things I’ve read in regards to being a minister. (or person really.)

“Just look for a moment at our daily routine. In general we are a very busy people. We have many meetings to attend, many visits to make, many services to lead. Our calendars are filled with appointments, our days and weeks filled with engagements, and our years filled with plans and projects. There is seldom a period in which we do not know what to do, and we move through life in such a distracted way that we do not even take the time and rest to wonder if any of the things we think, say, or do are worth thinking, saying, or doing.”

- Henri J.M. Nouwen, “The Way of the Heart”

Two Great Books I Read Over Christmas

I took some time off over Christmas to do nothing but unplug, hangout with my family, and not think about anything.

I also read two amazing books. (Seriously, these are great.)

“Shoe Dog” by Phil Knight
 This is the story of Nike from its first day to the day it went public in the 80’s, written by the founder Phil Knight.
 I love books like this because it reminds me that big companies like Nike weren’t instant successes. We see the big company but miss the years of hard work, doubt, failure and in some cases dumb luck that lead to breakthroughs.
 Something I did not expect from this book was how honest Phil Knight was on how empty and frustrating parts of his success has been, and what he lost along the way. (His oldest son died in a diving accident and he is really open about how he dealt with it.) I really loved this book.

“Stuff Matters” by Mark Miodownik
 Everything we use and rely on is made of something, and that something is made of something else. The screen you are reading right now is made of glass or crystal and that glass or crystal is made of other elements that is made of a combination of other elements (and so on and so on). The author, Mark Miodownik, is a material scientist and is able to explain what “stuff” like glass, paper, or concrete is made of in a very scientific yet simple way that anyone can understand and be completely fascinated by.

I literally read this book in a couple hours. It was that interesting and understandable.

So, there you go. Add these books to your 2017 reading list. (You have already started writing your reading list right?)

My Favorite Books from 2016

Last year I listed my top 5 books as well as 8 that almost made top 5. (Check out 2015’s list here)

This year I am going to list my top 5 books of 2016, these are the books that I read and re-read that made the greatest impact on how I live and think, plus 12 other books that I had a hard time not adding to the top 5.

The “Honorable Mention” list are a few other books I enjoyed from the books I completed in 2016. (I don’t finish every book I start, if I get bored or I lose interest I don’t waste my time in finishing.)

All of these books are really amazing. Just buy them all.

Top 5 Books of 2016:

1) “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown
 2) “The Way of the Heart” by Henri J.M. Nouwen
 3) “American Icon” by Bryce G. Hoffman
 4) “Humility” by Andew Murray
 5) “Reclaiming Conversation” by Sherry Turkle

“Originals” by Adam Grant
 “Crucial Conversations” by Kerry Patterson
 “Adventures in Prayer” by Mary Jo Pierce
 “Deep Work” by Cal Newport
 “How Google Works” by Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg *Re-read from 2015 (Probably should be top 5 since it’s the second year I’ve listed it.)
 “Sprint” by Jake Knapp
 “Finding Eve” by Rita Springer
 “The Wisdom of the Desert” by Thomas Merton
 “The Desert Fathers: Sayings of the Early Church Monks” by Benedicta Ward
 “Sacred Listening” by James L. Wakefield
 “Prayer Primer” by Thomas Dubai
 “The New York City Noon Prayer Meeting” by Talbot W. Chambers

Honorable Mention:

“Ego is the Enemy” by Ryan Holiday
 “Poets and Saints” by Jamie George
 “The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin” by Benjamin Franklin
 “The Leader Who Had No Title” by Robin Sherma
 “The Lives of the Desert Fathers” by Norman Russell

Climbing Ladders

When you’re a kid and you see a ladder, you want to climb it. When you see a tree you want to climb it. When you see a mound of dirt, you not only want to climb it, you play “King of the Hill” to make sure no one else gets to the top of the hill before you.

As adults not much has changed. We still have ladders. Only our ladders have become corporate structures and our hills have become title or position.

But what if you’re not built for climbing ladders?

Recommended Reading for 2016

Books that made the greatest personal impact in 2015.

I read a lot. My wife reads more. (She read 63 books 2015)

I was asked the other day what 3 to 5 books I would recommend for someone to read in 2016. Below is a list of the top 5 books I read in 2015 that made the greatest impact in how I think and live as well as 8 books that almost made the top 5.


  1. “Creativity Inc. : Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration” by Ed Catmull

2) “Work Rules! : Insights from Inside Google That Will Transform How You Live and Lead” by Laszlo Bock

3) “The Year Without Pants” by Scott Berkun

4) “The Orbital Perspective” By Astronaut Ron Garan

5) “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg

“Four Witnesses: The Early Church in Her Own Words” by Rod Bennett

“Truely Free” by Robert Morris

“Manage Your Day-to-Day” by Jocelyn K. Glei (Editor)

“Thinking, Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman

“Creating Magic” by Lee Cockerell

“How Google Works” by Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg and Alan Eagle

“Simplify” by Joshua Becker

“Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennen Manning

The Christmas Story

Screenshot from “O Night Divine” by Eliot Rausch (Video Below)

Am I missing the miracles around me?


I love this video and the perspective it gives us on Christmas.

Hearing the Christmas story my whole life, I tend to picture Mary and Joseph walking through the streets of Bethlehem with a saintly glow while people around them move aside in awe and wonder. But the reality is, they were two scared teenagers in an unfamiliar city with nothing but a promise from God to hold onto.

I wonder if this was happening today, how would I react? Would I stop and offer them help? Would I welcome them into my home and give up my bed to them? Or would I look down on them, assuming they were two kids who made some bad choices and walk away?

So many times we are looking for God only in the spectacular or miraculous and we actually miss the supernatural. We miss what God is doing around us and the opportunities He has put in front of us because they may seem small or insignificant.

I firmly believe that where it appears God is moving the least, He is actually doing the most!

The birth of Christ was an amazing day that signaled a new hope for the World, but it was not the end of the story. It was the beginning of an incredible plan God has for this World, a plan that is still moving forward, a plan that you and I have a key role to fill. You and I are the instruments the Lord has chosen to spread the truth and love behind the Christmas story. We have been chosen to take part in radically changing the world.

My prayer this Christmas season is that I would walk with open spiritual eyes, seeing the hand of God in everything around me. That I would move through this world with an open heart, ready to partner with The Lord to bring life, hope and love to the people I come in contact with.

There is Sorrow but Peace

I spent yesterday sitting next my friend as she took her final breaths in this world.

I cannot remember a time in my life I did not know her. Virginia was more than a friend; she was a sister.

She was always quick to encourage me, counsel me, and correct me if I needed it. There were times when I made her laugh, made her cry, and times when I completely infuriated her. But I knew she was always proud of me, and that she loved me.


Virginia was passionate about God, her husband and the hundreds if not thousands of students that she taught… more than taught, she impacted the course of their lives.

For the last three years, I’ve had the honor of being on the board of Stonegate Christian Academy, the school she lead and poured herself into. It’s hard to put into words the love and passion she had for that school. Not because she loved running it, but because she loved every single student that was there. She understood that she was responsible for more than their education. She had been given the responsibility to steward their lives and prepare them for the things God created them to do. To help mold them into the men and women God created them to be.

Virginia was an amazing person.


This is not the first time I have had to watch a close friend’s life come to an end. It’s always hard. But as I sit here thinking about Virginia, trying to process this loss, I am reminded of two scriptures that I have thought a lot about this year:

Hebrews 13:14 “For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.”

John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

These two scriptures bring me incredible peace, but they don’t take away the heartache. That is the amazing thing about a relationship with Jesus. Pain and peace can live together in the same heart.

There is pain because I will deeply miss my friend. But there is peace because I know I will see her again.

Ministry Advice to a Young Leader

Earlier today while doing a live Periscope Q&A for my church with another one of our Pastors, we were asked what advice we would give to young leaders starting out in ministry. The video cut off right before we answered the question, so I thought I would share my answer here. (Hopefully, the person who asked the question will see this answer.)

In short, my answer is this: Don’t take yourself too seriously.

When I was starting out in ministry I took myself WAY too seriously. I thought Pastors were supposed to be serious, firm, and stoic. The COMPLETE OPPOSITE of my personality.

I like to have fun. I’m a goof-off, a smart aleck and I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth so many times I can tell you the brand of shoes you are wearing by the taste. That’s who I am. That’s who God made me to be. (Though, I am getting better about the foot in mouth thing. Sort of.)

I take the CALL OF GOD on my life VERY SERIOUSLY. I take my position as a Pastor VERY SERIOUSLY. I just try not to take myself too seriously.

I believe that one of the greatest things a Pastor can do to spread the Gospel is lighten up and have some fun.

The Gospel is literally translated “Good News”, and it is our responsibility to share that “Good News” with everyone we come in contact with. How can we effectively share the Good News of the Gospel, if when we show up, it’s BAD NEWS to everyone around us.

*This applies to all Christians as well.

Misplaced Priorities

In our first year of marriage my wife worked double shifts waiting tables and I made $1000 a month doing “ministry”.

She worked, she sweated, she worried about our bills. She worried about us.

I didn’t work and I didn’t worry. I sat at Starbucks every day reading books, magazines and my Bible… because I was called to “ministry”.

I put my marriage and my wife’s mental stability aside for my own desires.

Why did I do it?

I forgot that my first call of ministry, every husbands first priority of ministry is his family.

No exceptions.

On Working on a Team

One of the hardest but most important parts of working on a team, is letting go of the need to be right… and in some cases, heard.

Pride must be shelved.

A healthy team is made up of individuals who trust one another, and understand that it does not matter who has the last word, or whose idea ultimately becomes the team’s idea. What matters is the whole team working together towards the greatest result.

Unity rules.

Even if the team results in failure. Failure together can be just as powerful as succeeding alone.

I’m Tired of Being a Leader

When I was younger, just starting out in ministry, I desired to be a great leader. I wanted to command people, lead them into “battle”, and be respected by others for my wisdom and skill.

Leadership became something to attain. Something that positioned me over other people. It drove me to be in charge, to pursue what I thought was right even at the expense of what others wanted or needed. It lead me to become dismissive, cold in my communication, and ultimately alone in what I felt God was calling me to do.

In short, my definition of leadership was unhealthy. It fed my pride and I became a very selfish, very lonely “leader”.

Now, I’m a little older, hopefully a little wiser, and I’m much more interested in being the best teammate, the best servant I can be.

Jesus said it best in Luke 22:24–27:

“Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.”

11 Rules for Leading Teams

Lessons I’ve learned to get the most from a team while doing the least amount of damage in the process.

I have had the pleasure of serving under some great leaders and a few not so great leaders. (Yes, even serving under a bad leader can be a pleasure if you learn from it and apply what you’ve learned to how you lead.)

Looking back over the many leaders I have served under, I have compiled a list of eleven things that I have learned and that I try to apply to the people I lead. (I say try because I know I have failed many more times than I have succeeded.)

1) Stay calm.

As a leader (You could also insert Husband or Father here.) you live in a fishbowl. Everything you do (and feel) is seen and magnified. That means that when you’re at a six people will perceive you at an eight, which will usually push them to a ten or worse, they’ll overload and burnout. (The truth is no matter where you are your team will probably think you’re at an eleven.)

Bonus Thought: You may feel like you do a good job at hiding your emotions, but you’re human so you probably don’t do as good of a job as you think. Because of this, it’s important to have people around you that will speak honestly and directly to you and help reel you in.

2) Be present

Both physically and emotionally. An absent leader may think they are communicating trust in their team but what they are really communicating is “what you are doing is not that important to me, and since it’s not important to me, it’s not important to the organization.”

Bonus Thought: If the leader is not present how can they see the great things their team is accomplishing and give sincere and generous praise? (see point 10)

3) Don’t try to be Omnipresent

You can’t be everywhere and in everything. You’re not God. (though I have met a few leaders who think they might not be God but they’re the next best thing, but that is a whole different post.) Trying to be involved in every decision is called micro-managing. The only thing micro-managers create is exhaustion. They exhaust themselves and their team.

4) Engage

Don’t just ask for reports, engage in a conversation. Don’t just ask what decisions where made or what was done, ask why. Engage in the thought process. Learn what is making your team tick. This will not only give you information, it will give you understanding of the different personalities and talents of your team and will add value to them. (Unless of course you do nothing but tell them the way they should have done it or how YOU would have done it.) See #8 for more on this.

Bonus Thought: As a leader, you probably have a million plates spinning all at once. So how to you decide what to give your attention to or engage with at any given time? You give it to what is in front of you. There is nothing more frustrating to a team or team member then when the leader who is with them physically isn’t there emotionally or mentally.

5) Give freedom

I’m no historian, but I’m pretty sure that when a Pyramid was finished in Egypt, the builders didn’t feel a sense of accomplishment or pride in their work. Why? Because they weren’t builders, they were slaves working under task masters.

Hopefully you’re not a task master and you don’t see your team as slaves. Give you’re team ownership of what they are doing. You can and should set parameters, but let them run in the boundaries you set. Let them work freely in their passions and with the natural gifts they have.

6) Trust

If you can’t trust a team member to make good decisions or accomplish the job they are given, then maybe they shouldn’t be on your team at all. See #3 (Of course, the problem could be that they have not been given the tools or training they need to accomplish what they have been given to do. This isn’t their fault, it’s their leaders.)

7) Cast vision (constantly)

Teams don’t just need to know what needs to get done. They need to know why they are doing it. However it’s not enough to communicate the “big picture” of the organization, teams also need to understand the importance of what they are doing and how without it, the “big picture” can’t be accomplished. (One of the quickest way to lose a valuable team member is to make them feel that what they are doing is not important or they are just “spinning their wheels” with busy work.)

8) Correct and train

Mistakes will always happen. But they will keep happening if they are not corrected. No one wants to make a mistake, and a person can’t correct a mistake if they don’t know they are making one or why they are making it.

The only way to keep a team member from repeating a mistake is to train them on how to do it right.

9) Manage pace

There will be times that you have to push your team. Deadlines are a real thing. But, If the leader has done their job, they have built a team of incredible people who not only believe in what they are doing, they believe in you and your goals.

Passionate people push. They sacrifice. They work hard. They love what they do. A leaders job is to know where their team is, what they are doing and when they are doing too much. A great leader will help motivate their team to get things done the best way they know how but should also strive to keep them healthy.

Not everything has to get done now or tomorrow. A quick way to burn out a team and the families of a team is to allow them to push themselves beyond what is realistically possible.

Bonus Thought: Nothing worth doing is worth doing fast. Anything great takes time. A leader that loses sight on the pressure their team is under is not leading well.

10) Be sincere and generous with praise

Everyone needs affirmation. Everyone needs to know that what they are committing their time and lives to is noticed and appreciated. Always look for ways to praise your team or team members. But not just privately, publicly.

But it needs to be sincere.

Praise for the sake of praise or as a motivational tool is not really praise, it’s flattery. It’s meaningless or worse, it can come across as belittling. In order to be sincere in your praise you need to have a real understanding of what is being accomplished. And you can’t do that if you’re not present (see #2) or engaged with your team. (see #4)

11) Make failure safe

A team that is afraid to fail will be afraid to innovate. Sometimes doing the same thing that has always been done is a good thing, but when it stops working you need people that are willing to take risks and change. People won’t be willing to try new things if they are afraid of the consequences of failure. Remember the response of Thomas Edison when he was asked about his many failures while inventing the Light Bulb: “I have not failed, I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Final Bonus Thought: If you are leading well then the people you are leading are not only doing a great job, but are becoming better leaders themselves. This means that more then likely they will grow beyond what they are doing for you.

This is a GREAT thing.

This is why leaders should not see themselves as owners or bosses of a team, but as stewards. Stewardship is being temporarily responsible for something that is not yours. A good steward will strive to take what they are responsible for, and make it better.

(As a pastor I have the privilege of working with great teams of volunteers. The list above can absolutely be applied to leading unpaid volunteers, but if you work with volunteers on a regular basis you should also read: “4 Things Every Volunteer Needs to Keep Their Head From Exploding.”)

Be Bold

It is a powerful thing to be confident in who God created you to be. To understand that you were created for a unique purpose. To boldly walk in the knowledge that the only person who can truly define who you are and what you will become is the Lord.

Well meaning people will try to “help” you discover your purpose. They will try to nudge you in a direction you should go… the direction they think you should go.

Don’t.

Be confident in who you are.

Be bold in the gifts and talents God has given you.

Don’t let people tell you who you are or what you were created to do.

Most of us can’t see past our own insecurities enough to adequately discover what the people around us where created for.

We judge each other based on our own abilities, style, opinions and purpose. And if you aren’t like us, we don’t celebrate it, we want you to change.

Don’t listen.

Be yourself.

Pursue what it is that God has called you to do, and do it with all your heart.

Discover your unique purpose.

You have nothing to prove.

Be bold.

Choosing the Long Drive

A small loss for a big win.

I can get from my house to my office in about fifteen minutes. I can get back home in a little over twenty depending on the traffic. But every so often I take the long way home.

The long way is full of one lane roads, stop lights, slow drivers and low speed limits. If I hit most of the green lights I can make it home in around forty to forty-five minutes.

So why would I choose the long, seemingly inconvenient way home?

Because my wife and kids deserve to have me fully present when I get home. They don’t need to compete with the days frustrations, stress, unanswered questions and unfinished todo lists.

They deserve to have all of me the second I walk through the door.

The long way has become my “decompression chamber”. It’s my time to process through the days events, think about the questions I didn’t ask and plan for the things I didn’t get done. It’s also my time to pray.

I wish I could say that taking the long way home was my idea, but it wasn’t, it was my wife’s. She was the one who told me she would rather me be home late and present than early and gone.

So that’s what I do.

I choose the long way.

I choose to slow down my life for just a little bit, in order to give my family one of the greatest gifts a Husband and Father can give his family…

Himself.

Great thoughts from my wife on Joshua 1

I love that the first nine verses of Joshua are like a locker room pep talk from God!! I just imagine God taking Joshua by the shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. Telling him to be strong and courageous… Giving him exact instructions and knowing exactly what to say to get Joshua right where he needed to be to take a leading role and take them to the next level! And I love that God put it here for us to experience all over again!!! Now it’s me He’s looking in the eyes and saying “don’t be discouraged, God, your God, is with you every step you take.”

Read Joshua 1:1–9 here.

My First Three Hires If I Were Planting a Church Tomorrow.

If I were planting a church tomorrow, these would be my first three hires listed by priority.

1) Children’s Pastor
I think this is the most important ministry of the church and if not done well will kill even the most organized church, well-funded church. (Keep the kids safe. Keep the kids having fun while learning about God. You reach the kids, you can reach the family.)

2) Communications Pastor
Yes, this would be my second hire. (If I had the money I would #1 and #2 at the same time.) We live in a world where right communication matters. Fortune 500 companies have been taken down by accidental Tweets, politicians have lost campaigns by one misworded email response, and 14-year-olds have started multi-million dollar global campaigns because they know how Snapchat actually works.

We (the church) have the most life changing message, but so often we don’t take the time to learn the best medium of communication, or what really needs to be said. (And no, you don’t HAVE to be on Tv.)

I think most of the time we let the cost (which is pretty minimal now) dictate priorities in this area and it kills us.

3) Executive Pastor
Most Senior leaders of any organization are usually great visionaries but are light on details. Having someone who lives for the details, someone who loves mapping the dots between A and B is essential.

BONUS HIRE: A good accountant.
It would be a good idea to have someone who understands budgets and say… tax law. You know, just to keep bills paid and pastors out of jail.

Goodbye My Old Four Wheeled Friend


When I was fifteen my parents gave me my first car. It was a Saturn. I loved that car. My brother and I shared that car, had fun in that car, and if I’m totally honest, abused that car. (We were teenagers, that’s what they do.)

So ten years ago when my wife and I needed a new car, I saw another Saturn and I knew I had to have it. And again, I fell in love with that car.

It was the first car we bought with our own money. The first car we picked out at a dealership. The first car that we spent hours sitting with a salesman negotiating a price. The first car my wife and I paid off together.

It has taken us on more road trips then I can count. My brother drove my 8 month pregnant wife the LONG and UNCOMFORTABLE drive from Orlando to Dallas while I followed them in a moving truck. We slept in that car when there were no available hotel rooms on that same trip because they were all full of people displaced from their homes after Hurricane Katrina.

I drove my first newborn daughter home from the hospital in that car. (Another very long trip even though we only lived three miles from the hospital… new Dads always dive extra slow on that trip.)

I have probably spent more money on repairs to the car then I actually paid for the car. And I imagine the amount of money spent on that car is numerically equal to the amount of times I have defended that car to my wife when she (wisely) wanted to replace it with a more dependable one.

I loved that car.

But the time has come to say goodbye. I told my wife that I would drive it until the “wheels came off”. Well, almost 200,000k miles later, I practically have.

It has been a hard decision for me. The car actually died a few months ago and has been sitting in my driveway since. I know it still has some miles left in it, and someone with the know how will be able to fix it up and use it. Unfortunately I don’t have the know how and my wife does not have the patience. So we made the decision to say goodbye.

Even after we made the decision, I have been hesitant.

Until last week.

Last week there was an unsolicited knock on our door. It was a young couple with two kids that are the same age as our two youngest. They saw the car sitting in our driveway and asked if it was for sale, and if so for how much. They were looking for a second car, didn’t have much money to spend, and didn’t care if it ran or not. He was a mechanic, he can fix anything.

I waited a week and then called him back. He missed my call and when he did call me back he apologized for calling so late, but he and his wife were in church, “praying for a blessing”. (He has no idea that I’m a Pastor)

I told him I did not know how much of a “blessing” it would be, but if he wanted the car, it was his, he could have it.

And so today, when he gets off work, he is coming over with a trailer to take it away.

I was thinking last night and wondering why saying good bye to this car has been so hard for me. It’s just a car. But as I thought more about it, I remembered a commitment my wife and I made when we were first married to never miss a Tithe or ignore a chance to give, even if it was a little, when the Lord prompted us to. I also remembered all of the times we had to decide if we were going to pay the car payment or another bill with the little money we had left any given month. But even though we only had the money for one, God would always provide for both. We never missed a car payment and we have always been able to pay our other bills.

God always provided what we needed when we needed it.

The “Sermon On The Mount” has always been my favorite teaching in the Bible, and Matthew 6:31–34 has always been a foundation for me and has given me great hope:

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

So after today, we’ll be down to one running car. Can I replace it? Not right now. Do I have a plan? Not really. Am I worried? Not at all.

That car is more than a car. It is a blessing from the Lord. And now that car is going to be a blessing for someone else.

So, with all that said, today, with a heart full of joy and peace, I say goodbye to my old four wheeled friend.

On Wisdom

Knowledge and wisdom are not the same.

We journey through life collecting all sorts of little facts. We learn all sorts of lessons. We gather all kinds of experiences. But that is not wisdom, that is just knowledge.

WISDOM comes when we take all the knowledge that we have accumulated, all those lessons we have learned, and APPLY it in a positive way to our lives. Knowledge is just accumulation. Wisdom is the application.

Three Lessons I Learned in Twenty-Fourteen

2015 has already started out as such a whirlwind, I feel like I haven’t had a chance to take a breath. But I did take a few moments to identify the three greatest lessons I learned in 2014 so I could write them down, apply them to 2015 and share them with you.

They’re pretty straight forward, but I can assure you, learning them was a whole lot harder then writing them out.


Lesson One: Live simply.

Forgive when your wronged. Love even when it hurts. Seek out the best in people. Don’t spend so much time on how things could be, simply look at how they are and seek to make them better.

I spent 2014 trying to simplify the things in my life. Some things I’ve done have been very practical like making lists, focusing more on the majors then on the minors, and controlling both the mental and physical clutter in my life.

The goal really has been to cut out the things in my life that may be GOOD things, but aren’t GOD things.

You can read about what started this task of simplification here. I’ve also written a few other articles in this same vien and posted them here.


Lesson Two: Anything worth doing is going to be hard… and may come with some disappointment.

In Luke 14 Jesus talks about the importance of counting the cost before making a big decision (He specifically talks about building a tower, going to war or becoming His disciple).
But why? Because we need know the reality of what we’re getting into, and the reality of building a tower, winning a war or becoming a true disciple is it is going to takes time, hard work, and it won’t always go according to plan.

They’ll be setbacks, they’ll be days you have to recalculate or re-plan. And they’ll be days you just want to shut everything down and quit.

But the hard work will (eventually) pay off. And let’s be honest, if the things we are committing to are easy, they are probably not worth doing.

Having a great marriage is hard work.

Raising kids who grow in character and love God is hard work.

Pressing in and praying until you see a breakthrough is hard work.

But it’s worth it.


Lesson Three: It’s easier to give advice then to live by it.

As a pastor, I give lots of advice. I tell people things like “Trust God”, “God is faithful”, “God is your provider, not man.”

But last year came with some personal setbacks, some hurdles that I had to overcome. There were many times where I wanted someone to tell me the things I’ve told others.

But the truth is, I don’t need them to. Because all those things I tell others to encourage them are not just “feel good” sayings. They are truth, and my God is bigger and more faithful then any problem I could ever face.

I don’t need someone following me around all day long looking for opportunities to encourage me when I’m down. What I need is to keep myself connected to The Lord. I need to remember that I need his presence like I need oxygen.

I need to remember to live by my own “advice”.

Camouflage Glasses

This may be the best conversation I’ve had with my five year old son to date. The kid cracks me up.


Cameron: “Your sunglasses look like mine.”

Me: “They do? But mine are camouflage.”

Cameron: “So are mine!”

Me: “No they aren’t, they’re Micky Mouse sunglasses.”

Cameron: “Yeah, and if I was standing next to Micky Mouse they’d be camouflage.”


I love being his dad.

Four Things Every Volunteer Needs To Keep Their Head From Exploding.

Volunteers are the lifeblood of any church or ministry. But more times than not, for volunteers, what began as a work of passion, love and a heart to serve, ends with frustration and burnout.

I believe there are 4 things every leader can give his or her volunteers that would combat these results.

1) Volunteers need clearly defined and communicated EXPECTATIONS.

One of the most frustrating positions for any volunteer to be in, is when they find themselves serving in an “evolving role”, a role that seems to change every time they show up to serve. Clearly defined and communicated expectations (the what, when and where of a position) will solve this issue.

This may seem like an easy thing to do, but the number one enemy of a clearly communicated plan is an unorganized leader. I’m amazed how many times I have heard or said myself in frustration, “_________ never does what they’re supposed to do.” When, the person being referred to has never been told EXACTLY what to do. That’s not their fault, it’s the leaders.

(Ps: Clearly defined and communicated expectations will also answer the question, “How often can we ask a volunteer to serve?” Well, how often did you communicate the need to them?)

2) Volunteers need to be EQUIPPED.

I was very fortunate to serve under Dr. Edwin Louis Cole at the Christian Men’s Network.

One day he called me into his office and told me that I was now responsible for emptying his office trash can everyday. He then proceeded to walk me through the exact process he wanted done. He showed me how to take out the old bag, how to tie it up and where the dumpster was. He then showed me where to find the new bags and then showed me EXACTLY how he wanted the bag tied and secured to the trash can.

I remember thinking how ridiculous it was that he was being so precise and specific with his instructions, it was like he thought I had never emptied a trash can before or that I couldn’t figure it out on my own. But the reality was, even though I knew how to empty a trash can and put a new bag in, he wasn’t going to assume I knew how. He was saving the both of us from potential future frustration. (the fact is I had emptied a trash can before, but I had never emptied HIS trash can before, and he wanted it done the right way.)

Dr. Cole used to say, “You can’t expect what you don’t inspect.” Basically, if you want something done right, you don’t have to do it yourself, but you are responsible for the training. To put it Biblically, “Philip ran over and heard the man reading from the prophet Isaiah. Philip asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” The man replied, “How can I, unless someone instructs me?” And he urged Philip to come up into the carriage and sit with him.” (Acts 8:30–31)

3) Volunteers need to be EMPOWERED.

This is pretty simple. Create volunteer positions that can be “owned” by a volunteer. Don’t create a position that is so rigid, that the volunteer feels like if they make one adjustment or mistake it will ruin everything. Every volunteer position should have some margin built into it, that a volunteer who is passionate can add his or her own gifting and ability to improve what they are doing.

I firmly believe that ownership fuels passion, and when you’re running towards passion, you’re running away from burnout.

4) Volunteers need to be ENCOURAGED.

When I say volunteers need to be encouraged, I’m not just talking about telling them they’re doing a good job.

The most powerful way we can encourage our volunteers is to constantly communicate how the role they are filling is important to the vision of the organization. (and if it’s not, then maybe it a role you don’t need.)

Here’s an example. Take a person who works in the church nursery holding babies. Week after week they sit in a room rocking the crying babies of strangers, changing dirty diapers and constantly having their clothes ruined as they get spit up on. We could tell them they’re doing a good job and we appreciate them, and that’s good, but it won’t fuel their passion. But when you tell them about the couple who were on the brink of divorce, and that because the church was able to offer childcare at the marriage conference they didn’t have to spend money they didn’t have on a babysitter. And while at that conference they both recommitted their lives to Christ and recommitted themselves to each other, it’s not a stretch or an exaggeration to say that happened because YOU were willing to give up attending the conference yourself to take care of a strangers baby.

That’s the kind of encouragement we need to give our volunteers. They need to know that what they are doing is the work of God. That they are building His Kingdom. That what they are doing is AS IMPORTANT as the ministry that happening from the platform.

That is how a volunteer needs to be encouraged.

(FYI, I didn’t make up that scenario above, that actually happened, and stories like that happen every week, we just need to be intentional about bringing our volunteers in on the celebration)

These four things may not be the “end all” of working with volunteers or solving the burnout issue, and I’m sure you have some things you would add and I’d love to hear them, but I do believe it keeps the process heading in the right direction.

Volunteers are a treasure that need to be protected. And it’s our job as leaders to protect them, even if it means protecting them from ourselves and our leadership mistakes. (we all make them)

You Know We Can See That, Right?

Guys, you do know that all your friends on Instagram and Facebook can see every image, video or article you “like”, don’t you?

Maybe you didn’t know that’s how it worked. Maybe you didn’t know that on the same account that we see you post how much you love God, your wife, your kids and your church. The same place where you post your favorite Bible Scriptures, pictures of your bible study notes, the small group lesson you’re about to teach, or how you can’t wait for worship this weekend, we also see every inappropriate picture or video you “like”.

Maybe you didn’t know that, or maybe you do and you just don’t care. But you should care. Because it’s a problem. Because just like the pictures you post are a window into your life, this content that you are looking at and endorsing with your “likes” is a window into your heart. And maybe you’ve convinced yourself that’s it’s “not a big deal”, “It’s just Instagram, it’s not like I’m looking at porn.”

Well, you’re wrong. It is a big a deal.

Here’s something else you may not know, it’s hurting you. It’s hurting your marriage. It’s hurting your testimony. It’s hurting your ministry. It’s hurting your potential to reach the people around you. It’s hurting your relationship with God. It’s only getting bigger and it’s won’t just go away on it’s own.

I’m not judging you. I’m concerned about you. I’m trying to help you. I’ve seen too many men lose too much, because of something they thought was so little, that became uncontrollable.

So stop right now. Take a minute and listen to the Holy Spirit. Is this for you? That offense or anger you may be feeling right now may not be anger at all, but loving conviction from the Lord.

Repent. Ask the Lord to forgive you. Ask Him to free you. Call your Pastor, a church leader, a mentor or a friend that won’t judge you but walk beside you through this process of freedom. (And if you are married, let them help you talk to your wife)

And then, delete your Instagram or Facebook. It may seem extreme, but I can assure you that what you are gaining far outweighs what you are losing.

Today could be the best day you’ve had in a long time.

A Conversation on Fatherhood in the Middle of Walmart

This morning I’m picking up a few things from the store with my Daughter Dylan in the shopping cart. As I’m grabbing what I need, I’m approached by a young man, hat cocked sideways, Vanilla Ice looking stripes shaved into the side of his head his under his hat, wearing a t-shirt of some hip-hop group I’ve never heard of walks up to me and just starts talking.

This is the actual conversation we had:

Him: “How old is she?”
Me: “Six Months.”
Him: “She’s cute.”
Me: “Thanks man.”
Him: “I got a little girl on the way. My girl’s six months pregnant.”
Me: “Man, that’s great! Congratulations! Little girls are awesome, she’s gonna change your life.”
Him: “I know, It’s crazy. It’s a big deal. Wasn’t really planning on it. Don’t think I’m ready.”
Me: “We’re never really ready. But you’ll be fine. You’ll do a great job.”
Him: “Yeah, I’m just too young though. I’m still a kid.”
Me: “How old are you?”
Him: “Twenty-Three.”
Me: “Nah, You’re not a kid.”
Him: “You know what I mean. I still feel like a kid.”
Me: “You may feel like a kid, but you’re not. You’re a man, and you’re about to be a dad. You know the difference between a man and a kid?”
Him: “What?”
Me: “A man takes responsibility for his actions. He steps up even when he doesn’t feel like it. You seem like the kind of guy who’s gonna step up. I can tell. You’re gonna be a good Dad.”
Him: “I just don’t know what to do.”
Me: “Man, I’ve got three kids and I still don’t know what to do!”
Him: “For real!?!”
Me: “Seriously! I’m still figuring it out. But you don’t really have to know a lot. Ninety percent of being a Dad is just being there. The worst thing you could do is nothing.”
Him: “Well, I’m not gonna leave. I’m gonna take care of her.”
Me: “I know you will. But here, take this. (handed him my business card) That’s got my number and email on it. When you do feel like quitting, and you will, we all do at some point, call me.”
Him: “Ok, thanks, I will. (looks at card) You’re a Pastor? (gets an embarrassed look on his face).”
Me: “Yeah, don’t hold it against me. (My daughter starts crying) Alright man, I gotta go. She’s getting crazy. Seriously call me if you need anything.”
Him: “I will.”
Me: “(As I’m walking away) Oh hey, one more thing. Do you have a job?”
Him: “Yeah, kind of.”
Me: “Kind of? You probably need to get a job. Kids are expensive.”
Him: “(Laughing) Yeah that’s what I hear! Thanks!”

I’m not sure how it is I tend to have so many conversations like this in the middle of the most random places. Maybe I just need to open a church in a Walmart.

My Daughter’s a Superhero

Last week while at a local playground with my family, something happened that will forever change the way I see my daughter.

I watched my eight-year-old daughter position herself between four older boys and a little girl, no more than four or five years old, who they were picking on.

She stood her ground, telling them to leave the little girl alone and asking them why they had to be so mean. When the boys tried to reach around her to knock the flowers the little girl was holding out of her hands, Reese simply pushed their hands away.

As I moved closer to make sure my daughter was alright, I saw a look in her eyes that I have never seen there before. It wasn’t fear or anger, it was courage and compassion. I could see in her eyes that she felt as bad for these boys as she did for this little girl she was protecting. She truly didn’t understand why they had to be so mean.

I don’t know if the boys realized that Reese wasn’t going to give up or that I was standing behind them, but after a couple of minutes, the stand-off ended. The boys moved to the other side of the playground and played by themselves, the little girl went back to picking flowers and I stood there in absolute awe of my daughter.

As we walked away from the playground, I told Reese how brave I thought she was and how proud I was of her. She looked up at me and said, “I just don’t like bullies.”

She’s my hero.

Psalms 138:7-8

“Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life — for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.”
Psalm 138:7-8

Someone shared this passage from Psalm 138 with me, and I was so encouraged by it I wanted to share it with you so that you never forget these truths:

God made you.
God saved you.
God has a plan for you.
God will NEVER abandon you.
God’s love for you is FOREVER.

Read it. Meditate on it. Write it down. Never forget it.

Tools of the Trade

I thought I might offer up a list of the tools I use on a daily basis to keep my life moving. To some it may seem like a long list, to others it may be lacking. (though, on occasion I may add a new piece of software here and there, but usually I end up ditching them for these trusty standards.)

**Hardware: (**Things you can touch, hold, tear, drop and break.)

Iphone- Always with me. Actually do most of my work on this.

iPad Mini- This has quickly become my “go to” piece of hardware. Love the size of the Mini. Take it everywhere (work related) with me. I’ve decided if I can’t do it on this… I’ll just figure out how I can.

MacBook Air- Favorite laptop ever.

Neuyear Calendar- Best wall calendar you can buy. Love the design/layout.

Action Journal- I’m 99% paperless in what I do (this was not an easy task to accomplish. Removed all paper and pens from my office for 2 months to make this a habit), but when the need arises, this is what I write in.

Bible- HCSB Version on my desk, NLT in my bag, NKJV & Amplified next to my bed. I’m always trading out on which version I prefer.

**Software: (**Things I run on the things you can touch, hold, tear, drop or break)

Evernote- This is my brain on tech. Everything goes in it and nothing gets done without it. It took me awhile to figure out the most effective way to use it, but the system I’ve used the last 2 years seems to work great. (I think I could probably teach a class on using this tool, but that seems like a lot of work since there is so much quality training already available.)

Logos Bible Software- Best Bible Software period.

IA Writer- If I’m not writing it in Evernote, I’m writing it here. (then transferring it to Evernote) I’ve tried several “distraction free” writing apps. This has become my favorite. (followed by Writeroom.) I write all my email newsletters, blog posts, notes from church services/meetings that I don’t want to use Evernote so I’m not tempted to work on other things. (writing this post in IA Writer now.)

WordPress- My preferred blogging/CMS system. Love working with it. (Tumblr is my close second on this.)

MS Outlook- Use this for church email/calendar.

Iphone Apps:

I have theory that a person really doesn’t need more than one screen of apps on there phone. Anything else is just distraction. (Seriously, take the time and see what apps you would keep if you were only able to use one screen hold them.)

Evernote- Same as above.

Logos- Same as above.

IA Writer- Same as above.

Tempo Calendar- The best calendar app I’ve found. Love how it handles appointments and MS Exchange accounts.

Buffer- Allows me to post to Twitter/Facebook/Google+ without falling down the rabbit hole of everyone else’s posts.

VSCOcam- Take/Edit all my iPhone pictures with this app.

Tweetbot- For when I want to see what my friends are posting. Love the way it handles Twitter’s lists function.

Instagram- Love this app, though it can be a bit of a time suck if I’m not careful.

Text+- Use this only to text with my daughter on her Kindle Fire.

Well, that’s about it. I’d love to hear what you think of the list above or get any suggestions you may have.

Creating Silence

Creating silence in my life has become one of the most powerfully productive exercises I have ever established in life. It’s amazing how much noise surrounds us every day, keeping us from really taking a breath and just think.

I can get more things accomplished in one day by just taking 15 or 20 minutes in silent thought then I can in a week without it.

It started for me six or seven years ago when I decided to turn off the radio in my car on my way to and from work. Just that brief time in thought helps me order my day and opens my ears to listen to what The Lord has to say about it. (Without interrupting Him with my “great” ideas)

Try it, It’s not easy when you start, but nothing worth doing is.

Thirty-Three Percent

What my schedule is communicating to my family.

33%.

That’s it. That’s the number I came up with. That’s all there is. That’s all the time my family gets from my schedule. Of the 168 hours in a week, my family gets 33% of my time. It’s not near enough. It’s not near what they deserve, so I better make the most of it.

Before you think I’m the worse Dad or Husband in the World, let me clarify a few things:

1) I only counted hours “with” my family that we were awake. You can’t really engage with someone while they are snoring. So I counted sleeping as “away” from my family.

2) As a Husband and Father, part of my responsibility is to provide for my family, which is what I’m doing when I’m at work, away from my family. And as long as I have boundaries in place that allow me to keep a healthy work/life balance, I’m not neglecting my family for work.

So now it doesn’t seem SO BAD… except that the numbers above are based on a good week. A week I don’t have evening services, after hours appointments, hospital visits, conferences our church might be hosting or anything else that may come up in a pastor’s schedule.

The reality is, it could be worse. (I’d imagine if we all looked at our schedules, we all ran the numbers, 33% might be on the high end.)

But here’s the real question. Of that 33% of my week that my family does get, do they get 100% of me? Or do they have to share their time? Do they have to share their time with things like the TV, my email, my list of things I didn’t get done at the office, my frustration from how my week may have gone, or anything else that would communicate to them that they are not really the most important thing in my life?

I may be with them, but am I really there? Do my kids know they have 100% of their Daddy’s heart? Does my wife know that no one compares to her? My words may say it, but does my time, focus and attitude?

These are some of the things I’m asking myself. These are some of the questions I’m committing my time to answering. These are some of the questions I’m using to help focus my priorities.

Are there any questions you need to ask?

The Nicest Thing I Have Ever Witnessed Someone Do For A Stranger.

A true story of selflessness.

With the prediction of serious winter storms in Dallas, I headed to Walmart (with apparently every other person in town) to stock up on a few essentials before the storm hit.

As I was waiting in line to check out, the woman in front of me was having her groceries bagged. While the customer ahead of me was waiting, she asked Sherry, the woman working the register, how her night was going. Sherry looked over the register and said, very sadly, that her day was not going very well. She was working the overnight shift, and on her way to work her drivers side window broke and would not roll up. She had secured a plastic grocery bag over the open window, but now she was afraid that the ice storm was going to break through the bag and didn’t know what to do.

After the customer in front of me finished paying, she told Sherry she was sorry to hear about her window and that she hoped her night would get better.

Sherry, grumbled a little thank you and then began scanning and bagging my groceries.

A few minutes later, the woman who had just left, walked back into Walmart and asked to see the manager. After speaking to the manager for a few minutes, she and the store manager walked back toward Sherry.

It turns out, when the other customer left the store, she walked straight across the parking lot in the falling sleet to the bank next door. She spoke to the bank manager and arranged for him to close one of his covered drive thru lanes and allow Sherry to park her car underneath during the night. The bank manager also agreed to keep the lane closed until Sherry was off work, even if that meant the lane would remain closed during business hours. She then walked back across the parking lot (in the freezing rain) and spoke to Sherry’s manager who agreed to give her a short break after she finished helping me, so she could move her car to the reserved bank drive thru.

As she (the other customer) was explaining all this to Sherry, Sherry just stood there in absolute disbelief. (Along with the rest of us in the very long line that watched this whole thing play out).

The woman, without even giving her name, just smiled at Sherry, told her to have a great night and then walked out of the store.

Like I said, it was the nicest thing I have ever witnessed someone do for a stranger.


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Two-Hundred Brownies

I recently had the privilege of arranging a free lunch for the faculty of one our local Middle Schools. During the lunch I met Lanette, a teacher who was 8 days away from completing her first year of teaching.

Teaching is not a first career for Lanette. It’s her third. She explained to me that when she had the idea of leaving the banking industry and going back to school to become a teacher, she thought it was a mid-life crisis. She was in her mid forties, had an established reputation in a great field, but she wasn’t happy. She was tired of working for herself. She wanted to spend the rest of her life building up others.

She told me that on her first day of school she looked at her students and told them, “This year, you will love me and sometimes you will hate me… but I will only love you.”

When I asked her if she still felt the same way about her students, now that the school year was coming to a close, she answered, “You know what I did on Memorial Day? I made 200 brownies from scratch, and wrapped them up to give to each of my students. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t still love them.”

Lanette was excited that the school year was coming to an end, but she was even more excited about the news that her teaching contract had been renewed for another year, and she would be back with the students she loves.

We need more teachers like Lanette.
We need more people like Lanette.

By the way… Her brownies were amazing.

Do What’s Important.

Things I do every day: (In no particular order)

Hug & kiss my kids.
Make my kids breakfast.
Tell my wife I love her.
Read.
Write.
Clear my inbox.
Pray.
Read my Bible.
Think.
Eat lunch.
Listen to my kids.
Listen to my wife.
Pray for my kids.
Pray for my wife.
Sleep.

How do I know I do them everyday? (Other than the fact that I do) Because I schedule them. That’s right, everything on this list is on my schedule. (No, I don’t really have “hug and kiss the kids” or “Kiss my wife” written on my calendar, but I do have blocks of time I have set aside everyday for nothing but giving my kids and my wife 100% of my attention.)

Why do I schedule them? Because they’re important to me. Because life is busy and there’s only so much time in a day. Because I have discovered that the things that are the least important tend to be the loudest and take the most time. Because if I don’t take control of my schedule, someone else will. Because I’d rather spend the limited time I have making sure I do the things that are important to me, rather then taking time away from them doing things that aren’t.


Ps. There will always be “busy work” that has to get done. The trick is not letting it take over your day or set your schedule. I set aside time everyday just for getting the “busy work” done. When that time runs out, I move on wether the work is done or not. (I’ve had to learn to be ok with a todo list that is never done.)


Are you spending time on the things that are important to you or are you taking time away from them?

You’re Asking the Wrong Question.

“What would you do if you had a million dollars? Whatever your answer is, then that is what you should do.”

Most of us have probably been asked this question in some form or fashion. A well meaning person thought it might help us make a decision or, at the very least, point us in the direction of an answer.

But it’s wrong.

Money doesn’t drive passion and it certainly doesn’t create it.

If money is what inspires you, you will never have enough.

Money shouldn’t drive you, nor should the lack of it hold you back.

A better question to ask would be, what would you do wether you had the money or not?

What keeps you up at night? What is it that start working on when you’ve finished your 9 to 5 and everyone else is winding down for the day?

What is it that The Lord has put in your heart that burns so deeply you don’t care what it takes to make it work or get it done?

Ask those questions.
Find those answers.
Then, do that.

Discussing Taxation Without Respresentation with My 8 Year Old Daughter.

Another life lesson learned on the drive to school.

Every morning I drive my eight year old daughter to school, and every day we have another random conversation covering whatever topic seems to be floating around in her head.

The other day, it was taxes.

Reese: “How much does my school cost?”
Me: “It’s free” (she goes to public school)
Reese: “It’s FREE! No one pays for it?!?”
Me: “No, we all pay for it when we pay our taxes.”
Reese: “WHAT!?! TAXES!?! I HATE TAXES! I HATE KING GEORGE!”
*(Realizing she just finished studying the Revolutionary War in school)
Me: “No no no, I’m not talking about that kind of taxes. Those taxes were bad because the King was taking whatever He wanted and calling it taxes. The taxes we pay are good (ok, so I lied a little). They pay for things like Schools, Hospitals, Roads, Parks and a bunch of other things that we need.”
Reese: “So then you get to decide what taxes to pay?”
Me: “Well, not really, but we do elect the leaders who decide, so if we don’t agree with what they are doing we don’t have to vote for them again.”
*(Reese gets out of the car and looks at me very seriously from the sidewalk)
Reese: “Ok, but if they start taking too much, I’m gonna throw an English Tea Party.”
Me: “Ok babe, I’ll keep you posted. Have a good day at School.”

Lessons From a Mentor.

Unforgettable truths that have shaped my life.

Dr. Edwin Louis Cole was one of the most influential men in my life. He welcomed me into his home, his life, his ministry and thanks to his beautiful Grand-Daughter Lindsay who I married, his family.

I can honestly say that it is a rare day that something he said or taught doesn’t come across my mind or slips from of my mouth. (most of the time without realizing it.)

I thought I might share a few of the truths (in no particular order) that seem to be the most frequent. (with a few thoughts of my own that go along with some of them.)

Here they are…


“Peace is the umpire for knowing the will of God for your life.”

This is become a foundational truth for our family. I can’t tell you how many times my wife or I have made a decision based on nothing more than the fact we didn’t have peace. This truth will turn most “hard” decisions into easy ones.


“An ounce of obedience is worth more than a ton of prayer.”


“Character is more important than talent.”

This was a hard lesson for me to learn. We live in a world where talent is worshiped and character doesn’t matter. Unfortunately this is often true in the church as well. We are the first impression many people will have of Jesus, and sadly, many people have chosen not to trust Him because they can’t trust us.


“The characteristics of the kingdom emanate from the character of the King.”

Same with business. Same with church. Same with Family. I may not be a king, but I am a father. My kids may not inherit the few talents I have, but they will pick up my character. When I see something in them I don’t like, I have to make sure I have dealt with it in myself first.


“The man without an organized system of thought will always be at the mercy of the man who has one.”


“Don’t let someone create your world for you, when they do, they will always make it to small.”


“Change is not change until it’s change.”


“Don’t pray for opportunities. Pray you’ll be ready when opportunities come.”

A constant prayer I used to pray was “God, bring me opportunities to preach… open doors for me”. I remember one day driving in my car praying this prayer and I heard a clear response from the Lord, “I’ll bring you opportunities to preach, when you have something worth saying.” That was a hard lesson, but one that I’ll never forget.


“You are only qualified to lead to the degree you are willing to serve.”


“When the charm wears off, there’s nothing but character left.”


“We tend to judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.”


“Personal philosophy determines public performance.”


“The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who knows why will always be his boss.”


“Leaders determine to influence. Followers only happen to influence.”


“Worry is a substitute for prayer.”

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6-7 (NLT)

Flashback to Africa with @childrenscup.

A few random pictures I found of my trip to Swaziland with @childrenscup. Such an amazing trip to meet amazing kids having their lives changed by an amazing team of people.