Be Yourself

Be yourself. Quit comparing yourself to others. Just STOP. You are UNIQUE. You are RARE. You are SPECIAL. THERE IS, NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE ANYONE LIKE YOU. God has a plan and a purpose for you. And His plan for this world has a job that NO ONE can do except YOU!

Quit focusing on what others ARE doing and what you’re NOT doing. Start focusing on what God IS doing.

Relax. Take it easy. Slow down. Wait.

Wait.

If you’ve been struggling with comparing yourself to others, or trusting that God has a plan for you, why don’t you pray this simple prayer right now:

Father, I love you. I only want what you want for me. Guide my every step down the path You have for me. Pour Your peace over me as I learn to trust in you completely. Amen.

Unresolved Issues

I was shocked by a conversation I overheard between two women. They were talking about a divorce one of them was in the middle of. It was a messy, painful divorce between two people who had been married for over 25 years. (I’m not sure how long exactly, but she kept using the term “25 plus year marriage.”)

The part of this conversation that got my attention was when the women going through the divorce said, “We’ve been arguing about this since we were dating. We just can’t take it anymore.”

WHAT!?! REALLY?!? The reason behind this divorce was an issue that went unresolved for over 25 years! Since before they were married!?! It’s almost hard for me to believe.

This couple, who I’m sure at one point were madly in love, let something negative in their relationship fester for over 25 years, and it eventually ripped their marriage apart.

I’ve been thinking about this conversation and here are a few thoughts that I had…

1) Marriage is NOT the answer.

If you’re single, dating or maybe engaged and planning a wedding, please listen to me. If there is a problem in your relationship, an issue that just won’t get resolved, GETTING MARRIED WON’T MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY. Before going one step further in your plans or your relationship, you need to have the hard conversation. Put everything on the table and work it out. And if you can’t work it out on your own or you can’t find another Godly person to walk and pray you through it. DON’T GET MARRIED! Period.

2) If you’re already married, QUITTING IS NOT THE ANSWER.

I believe marriage is a covenant. A covenant not just between a husband and wife, but between a husband, a wife, and the Lord. Your willpower to stay and fight, backed by God’s divine power, CAN and WILL restore ANYTHING. Get that thing you’re dealing with out in the open. Expose it to the Light. Get people around you who will pray for you and counsel you. FIGHT.

3) YOU CAN’T IGNORE THE PROBLEM! Anything left to itself will fester and DIE.

If I had 100 million dollars and used it to build the most magnificent house anyone had ever seen, but then, when construction was over, I locked the doors and never did a thing with it, eventually that house would rot and fall.

True of a house, true of a marriage.

We can’t allow negative issues to go unresolved in our marriages. God is the redeemer. Not just of our lives, but of everything, including your marriage. A problem ignored will not go away, it will grow, and, over time, it WILL hurt you and possibly destroy you.

These were just a few of the thoughts I had while thinking about this conversation. I’m sad for that couple. I’m praying for them. I hope that God works a miracle in that marriage, and in yours.

Smart Versus Wise

Being SMART does not mean you’re WISE. We can go through life learning all sorts of facts. We can learn all kinds of lessons. We can gather all manner of experiences. But that does not make us WISE, that just makes us SMART.

WISDOM comes when we take all that knowledge that we have accumulated, all those lessons we have learned and APPLY it to our lives.

Learning makes you SMART. Applying what you have learned to your life makes you WISE.


Originally published at nilesholsinger.com on April 2, 2018.

I’m Not Perfect

Here’s a newsflash, I’m not perfect. I’m far from it.

I make more mistakes in a day then most people make in a week. I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth so many times, I can tell you the brand of shoe you’re wearing by the taste.

Because I’m not perfect, there’s a lot of things I’m not good at. In fact, there are more things I’m NOT good at then there are of things I am good at. There are things that I see other people do that I would love to be able to do. But I can’t.

BUT…

There are some things that I AM good at! There are some things that I can do better than anyone else around me.

It’s not bragging saying this. It’s the truth. There are abilities and gifts that God put inside me that He didn’t put inside anyone else. Things that only I was created for.

It’s the same with you!

You have gifts that NO ONE ELSE HAS! You have a purpose and a destiny written by God that’s unique to you.

So why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others? Not just comparing, but selling ourselves short? Why do we (I) always think what others can do, or what gifts or callings they have, are more important than mine?

STOP IT!

THE ONLY THING YOU ACCOMPLISH BY FOCUSING ON THE GIFTS OF OTHERS IS THE NEGLECT OF YOUR OWN.

GOD NEEDS YOUR GIFTS ON THIS EARTH! They’re part of HIS master plan. You’re not here to fill space; you’re here to fulfill a purpose.

God needs your gifts developed, matured and ready.

Focus on YOUR gifts, stop focusing on theirs.

Besides, those people with all those gifts you’re focusing on and wanting might be doing the same thing with yours.


Originally published at nilesholsinger.com on March 29, 2018.